If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
soo... how was my night?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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