Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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