Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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