It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
