made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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