Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.

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  (202): He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex. http://tfl.nu/r46t
  Replies (1) Good night (465) Bad night (2480) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar

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  (248): it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar http://tfl.nu/5trr
  Replies (12) Good night (2969) Bad night (1940) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  "must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.

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  (856): "must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls. http://tfl.nu/lfhc
  Replies (13) Good night (3282) Bad night (742) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.

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  (413): Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking. http://tfl.nu/aegx
  Replies (11) Good night (903) Bad night (2520) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.

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  (828): I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office. http://tfl.nu/0hvj
  Replies (7) Good night (1345) Bad night (3637)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists

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  (720): I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists http://tfl.nu/iudi
  Replies (25) Good night (5627) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance

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  (207): i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance http://tfl.nu/4kjn
  Replies (3) Good night (3529) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.

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  (865): Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing. http://tfl.nu/w2oe
  Replies (2) Good night (2025) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list

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  (217): I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list http://tfl.nu/djej
  Replies (5) Good night (1504) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.

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  (443): He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever. http://tfl.nu/42ep
  Replies (5) Good night (310) Bad night (1535) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.

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  (856): After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday. http://tfl.nu/n5bk
  Replies (3) Good night (302) Bad night (573) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.

  (256): View more from Alabama

  It's like 10 times better than an Oscar

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  (256): I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award. (256): It's like 10 times better than an Oscar http://tfl.nu/pcc6
  Replies (7) Good night (502) Bad night (186)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus

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  (708): it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus http://tfl.nu/ryiv
  Replies (3) Good night (730) Bad night (194)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?

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  (740): my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady? http://tfl.nu/kyxc
  Replies (6) Good night (710) Bad night (261) Order T-Shirt
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.

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  (862): Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued. http://tfl.nu/kpbb
  Replies (2) Good night (278) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt

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