the new term for farting is butt boxing.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.