Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.

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(504): Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to. http://tfl.nu/jn1k

Replies (30) Good night (6605) Bad night (643)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head

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(617): You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head http://tfl.nu/n3kb

Replies (5) Good night (1180) Bad night (4118)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.

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(781): Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning. (1-781): I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon. http://tfl.nu/wxu1

Replies (19) Good night (6171) Bad night (678)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.

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(802): I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck. http://tfl.nu/89bk

Replies (154) Good night (1714) Bad night (40854)
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(530): View more from California

Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.

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(530): Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board. http://tfl.nu/cpie

Replies (7) Good night (2057) Bad night (843)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.

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(502): After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza. http://tfl.nu/j0sn

Replies (5) Good night (3904) Bad night (884)
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(207): View more from Maine

I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.

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(207): I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off. http://tfl.nu/j6re

Replies (14) Good night (1114) Bad night (3142)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".

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(785): Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur". http://tfl.nu/3gb4

Replies (8) Good night (2518) Bad night (940)
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(360): View more from Washington

we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip

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(360): we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip http://tfl.nu/7xer

Replies (3) Good night (2086) Bad night (640)
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(812): View more from Indiana

that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level

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(812): that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level http://tfl.nu/3djd

Replies (11) Good night (3843) Bad night (808)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.

(1-410): View more from Maryland

Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.

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(410): Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI. (1-410): Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return. http://tfl.nu/zi1i

Replies (10) Good night (1017) Bad night (2035)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.

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(843): I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least. http://tfl.nu/90gk

Replies (5) Good night (787) Bad night (351)
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(714): View more from California

We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.

(714): View more from California

I'll wait.

(714): View more from California

It can also be a hat.

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(714): We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock. (714): I'll wait. (714): It can also be a hat. http://tfl.nu/jio5

Replies (4) Good night (714) Bad night (267)
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(260): View more from Indiana

The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.

(314): View more from Missouri

What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!

(260): View more from Indiana

Americans.

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(260): The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me. (314): What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?! (260): Americans. http://tfl.nu/hz6i

Replies (7) Good night (821) Bad night (299)
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(703): View more from Virginia

If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something

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(703): If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something http://tfl.nu/ij26

Replies (1) Good night (375) Bad night (337)

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