Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.