found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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