were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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