the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
