dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You can't motorboat a personality
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize