Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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