Buhtt sex?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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