all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
