I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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