Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
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I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
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This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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