She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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