Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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