Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
