i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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