Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
