I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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