They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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