I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
