There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
