put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Everything about him screamed your future.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
