I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
