based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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