Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
