Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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