you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
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This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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