i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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