after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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