Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
