Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I need water and some morals
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