ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize