Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Everyone says I win the strip club
I have fence marks all over my body
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
