Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I got inside last night via doggy door
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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