he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
