dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
