Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
