Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
