That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
