the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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