His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
