Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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