This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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