we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
