I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
