Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
