I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
