So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
