You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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