i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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