you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
